


Box Score

by sidana



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 16:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16222487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidana/pseuds/sidana
Summary: The preternatural softball league seemed like a good idea at the time...





	Box Score

Box Score

Disclaimer: not my characters, not my universe. I promise to put them back when I'm done playing with them.

********************************************************

 

"Remind me why we're doing this, Jason."

"Because our beloved lupa has been reading L. David Mech again, and decided we needed to play together more in order to bond as a pack. And it's good publicity. See the St. Louis pretenatural community plays beer league softball just like everyone else. "

"And Richard got out of this how?"

"Because he's still in the big furry closet, and he's also the only one who could tell her 'no' and get away with it. I just wish there was some way I could have weaseled out of being manager."

"And what's the deal with the uniforms. I mean, sponsored by Chico's Bail Bonds?"

"Shang-Da, you just have no appreciation for classics of 70s cinema, do you?"

***********************

"I guess it could be worse."

"Worse, how's that? We're in the second inning, and we're down by two runs to the rats already..... and what do you mean that wasn't in the strike zone? She's six foot seven. My blind grandmother could tell you that was in that big, gigantic strike zone."

"At least we got to play the vampires before they got over their wooden bats phobia."

"Point made. They're kicking the hyenas' butts tonight next field over. And do you want to lose a team that not only has no pulse during the day, but also has their uniforms designed by Jean-Claude."

"Definitely. I mean someone should have told the man that that much lace was not acceptable on American sports uniforms, and how the hell do you slide in pants like that?"

"Ball four!"

"Time! I'm pulling the pitcher here. Sylvie, you're in for Stephen."

"But I was just getting warmed up."

"You walked Claudia and she didn't even have to take a swing at any of the pitches. She's six foot seven. You weren't even close to the plate, Stephen."

"And why am I pitching? Is it because I'm a lesbian, and you're stereotyping?"

"No. I remember the time that Gwen actually asked to pitch, she darn near decapitated the ump on a wild pitch. It's just that the league rules say we have to alternate male and female pitchers, and I'm sure not putting her back on the mound. And we need Polly at catcher so she can't either. So it's you, oh beloved Geri."

***********************

"Why does Irving get to play shortstop, and I'm stuck in right field? I'm pack Skoll. He's a submissive. He's the one who should be playing in the hinterlands."

"Because Irving actually paid for journalism school with a baseball scholarship and is consistently capable of throwing out runners. You, on the other hand, are Bill Buckner with fur. When I let you play second base against the leopards, you had, what? four errors in five innings."

"Maybe you do have a point. But I still don't like it."

***********************

"Three outs! Game is over, and the final score is Wolves 13, Rats 7."

"Glad it's over. Just one more game and we're through for the season. And it's against the bears, who haven't won a single game all year."

"Oddly enough, I think I'll miss it when we're done. You know you you get into a routine: game, then a couple of beer at the Lunatic Cafe bar afterwards. Maybe some heckling of the losing team afterwards. I think Anita might actually have a point."

"You been drinking the purple Kool Aid again?"

"No, but I've actually been having fun. You know sign up for adult basketball league starts next week."

"Don't even think of it!"


End file.
